Various types of insulated coolers are known in the prior art. However, what is needed is an insulated cooler with dual dispensing chutes that includes an insulated housing having a seating portion disposed thereatop, said seating portion bounded by a three-sided perimeter, wherein each of a pair of dispensing chutes is disposed through an insulated interior cavity between a top hatch, disposed in the three-sided perimeter, and a bottom hatch, disposed in a respective one of a pair of second walls, whereby expedient access to chilled beverages is enabled when each bottom hatch is opened and a beverage is volubly dispensed therefrom to a user seated atop said housing.